So sick.

I don't mean to be judgemental.
I don't mean to generalize.
I do mean to vent, but somehow whenever I need to talk something through, someone seems to think I am in the wrong. "You're just so self-righteous and you think you're all that" - I heard those exact words tonight as I tried to describe how I was feeling to someone. Did it ever occur to that someone that maybe I wasn't self-righteous or vain, but rather I was emotionally twisted up? Nobody's perfect and I am most definitely no exception, but maybe just this once I can try and explain how I feel without someone telling me that it's my fault.

Boys. That one word makes me absolutely cringe at the moment. I hate drama and I especially dislike people who flirt. I apologize, it nearly drives me out of my mind. I don't flirt, not unless I like the boy a lot, and when I do flirt it is only with that boy because I feel no need to lead anyone else on. No one else seems to understand this. The boy steals the girls backpack, he runs off with it just so that she will chase him, she tackles him, blah blah blah. I've honestly seen this scenerio more than once in one day and it generally happens over twenty times with the same boy/girl. I guess one just isn't satisfying enough...

What bothers me even more is that people are okay with this. They like the flirting, so they let it happen even though it means nothing just because it makes them feel important. They get the approval they were seeking for from the opposite gender and are content. Which brings me to "friends with benefits". I'm not even going to talk about that right now... nothing bugs me more.

I hate to point fingers. I really do. But I am completely fed up with people right now. It seems all classiness has gone down the drain and it makes me sick.

Which is why I am here, at 12:30am, blogging about it. Because no one else seems to understand. No one else will listen to me for five seconds. I am not being a jerk. I am simply stating what I see every day and confessing my opinion of it. I love people; I hate that they are so messed up.

So please, no more drama.
Please, no more jealousy.
Please, no more "friends with benefits".
Please, no more flirting with someone unless you actually like them.
Please, no more leading on.
And please, no more feeling absolutely ignored.

Because the fact of the matter is, I feel entirely ignored by boys in general. The fact of the matter is, I feel disliked by the human race, like I annoy everyone, unloved by the people who are supposed to love me the most and hurt.

It's an insecure day, a bad day, a day where you ultimately want to disappear in a dark corner somewhere alone and cry until you can't breathe.

With nowhere to sleep, nothing to do and no one to talk to I'm just praying I'll make it through the night.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Sincerely,
Shelby Nicole